Cheeeeeeks.

When you're 17 I don't think you'll let me kiss these cheeks over and over and over...

Everything has a last time

With our children, we are always looking for the firsts. We are so intent on waiting for these firsts that we don't pay any attention to the last times. I still remember the last time my daughter woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to sleep with me. And it breaks a part of my heart that she doesn't do that anymore.

One of the hardest things for me to do is to go through my children's clothes to get rid of things that won't fit them anymore. It may be selfish of me but I want them to always be this small and always love me this much.

One of my crib sheets has this disgusting, oily stain on it from a particularly awful night and day when B was sick and throwing up constantly. She threw up all over me, all over the couch, and all over her crib. No matter, the feeling of her pressing her tiny face into my neck because I was the only one that made her feel better is still one of the best feelings of my life. I hope I can always make her feel better.

K is already about to outgrow his three month clothing. I feel like I have not taken enough pictures. I don't know why I feel that as they get bigger they need me less... I suppose that's a testament to my relationship with my own mother. I really did need her less. I'm not my mother though and my children will always know how much I love them, that I will always be there for them, and that I will never leave them.

Everything about you is beautiful

One day you'll want to straighten and dye your gorgeous hair...and although I want you to express yourself I don't want you to change anything. You're perfect.

You smell like grapes, sunshine, and happiness.

I love you, daughter.

Week 39

I would be sinking into a terrible depression, but my baby girl only knows how to make me smile. I've hurt my back and it's left me almost immobile. I feel so useless. I feel guilty because I'm actually considering induction.

Farmer's market=yay!

Today Brynna and I met up with a friend of mine (Natalie) and her daughter Adele. Brynna and Adele were born just a day apart from each other. Adele actually came 5 weeks early so the fact that these two get to grown up almost sharing the same birthday was a little bit of a fluke. Dr. Natalie(she's a chiropractor) and I met through LARS and both went from crazy drunken soccer hooligan-ladies to moms at the same time. Her and I are actually pregnant together again...but she further behind me this time...only 15 weeks at this point.

Anyway, it had been forever since I'd seen them. Natalie is one those friends who you can pick up with right where you left off like you were never apart. I really love that about her. Brynna and Adele were content being strapped into their strollers as neither Natalie or I have the energy to keep up with a toddler on the loose right now. We chatted about how different our second pregnancies have been and grazed on fruit samples. Brynna wasn't in the mood for anything besides blood oranges and eating one made her look like a little vampire. We weren't out for long but it was good to get out into the sunshine and reconnect with Nat.

I always forget how much I love shopping at farmers markets until I'm actually there. I love the freshness and "realness" of the food. I love the way vendors crack open anything and give you a taste. Something about shopping for food outside is incomparable to going to the grocery store. I meant to get some artichokes and heirlooms tomatoes but somehow let them slip by me. Oh well. Not a bad haul for $10. Look at the size of my avocados!

Brynna's Cupcakes

Being the only vegan kid at day care means that your mom tries extra hard to make delicious treats for the kids. Also, her nickname is Veggie.They arent sure what they'll call the baby.

it's always something.

January has come and gone. We're in the second month of this new year that was so promising just a few short weeks ago. Sigh...everything we were saving for will have to wait though. instead of a downpayment on a house we had to replace one of th cars. Repair the dryer. Oh well. I told Kyle (honestly) that anywhere I am is home as long as I'm with my family. I meant it too...it's just frustrating when something youve been waiting so long for gets pushed back again.

In other news... no more work until June! I'm taking all of my vacation before my leave officially starts. It's so nice to spend lazy days at home with Brynna and stay up late working on homework without having to worry about getting up for work in the morning.

Valentine's  Day was nice. Brynna had a party at daycare for which I made cupcakes for her to take. I got caught up on laundry and after dinner Kyle and I feasted on vegan pastries from Whole Foods and my recreation of the picnic food that we ate on our first date... Valentine's 2008.